Rain, rain, go away...

It has been continuously raining for the past 5 days now. As much as I like the rain, I can only stand tiny dozes of it. Raining a day or 2 straight, for me, would be bearable, but 5 days?! Right now, the rain has actually stopped. But, then again, I'm indoors at work. I just pray that it lasts 'til much, much later tonight. I still need to finish up my last-minute Christmas shopping. I have 4 more people to buy gifts for. Thank God, the adults are doing White Elephant gift exchange this year, and the older cousins of the family, a.k.a. In Harmony and Co., are doing Secret Santa, thanks to Elfster.com. Budget's definitely very tight this year, so every little bit helps.

Still on the job-hunt. I'm getting a little apprehensive. No one, from all the places I've submitted my resume to, has responded to me yet. I feel like I'm running out of time. I need to keep reminding myself, "God's got yo' back." Again, Proverbs 3:5,6. I have to claim that. Again, stubborn human nature is trying to make me doubt. Grrr...!

So, this Christmas, I'm trying not to think about the fact that I'm single. I'm grateful to have family and friends around, and that I get to spend the holidays with them. I've been single for a very, VERY long time, and for the most part, my family and relatives have never really seen me with a significant other, especially ever since I moved to LA from Toronto in 1995. Yes, it has been that long since I have had a boyfriend. For the most part, I'm content to be single and fabulous. But there are definitely moments, ESPECIALLY during the holidays AND Valentine's day, that I feel VERY, VERY single. This holiday season, in particular, I am feeling just that. Most of my cousins, the older ones (I have 2 sets of cousins - the older, over 25 set; and the younger set which is 25 yrs and below), are either married, or have a significant other. I have always been "the single" one. Anyway, I'm just feeling it in particular this year for some reason. Confession: I do fancy someone. But he is a very close-guarded secret, well, until now, and I don't think he has a clue either that I fancy him. Or maybe he does. I don't know. I would love to talk about it and him, because it's not very easy keeping this kinda thing to yourself. But I think I will keep this one to myself. His identity will remain anonymous. The thought of him makes me smile, and some times, sad, because I really can't tell him how I feel. Perhaps, it's just an infatuation that I need to get over, and hopefully, quickly. Otherwise, I will be pathetically love-sick until there's someone else, who's more incredible, that I will meet. *sigh*

Ahhh.. don't mind me. I think it's the rain that's bringing out the "emo" in me. I'll get over it, after the holidays, I hope.