This is a test.

This is a test to see if my post will show up on Twitter.

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I really think it's time for me to leave. I'm relied upon too much. There's no sense of responsibility. There's no partnership. Maybe, when I'm not around anymore, then they'll step up. Or will they? I won't worry, the Lord will take care of it.


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Tim Tebow, God's quarterback

All I have to say is, Tim Tebow, keep doing your thing, brother. Forget the naysayers, keep showing them God. Shake 'em up. Shake 'em up real good. Will lift you up in prayer. Do it!

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Random musing of the day

I firmly believe that I will NEVER marry a fellow Filipino. Since I moved to North America, there's only one, yup, one Filipino guy who's ever liked me. But, he's never admitted it to me, directly, only in very vague ways and cryptic messages. That was about 20 years ago. Since then, NOTHING.

Filipino men have never found me attractive, especially Filipinos who were born, and who grew up in the Philippines. They like the fair/white-skinned girls. I always hear that in their conversations: "Oy, ang ganda nya, kasi maputi." ("Oy, she's beautiful, because she's fair-skinned.") Or, "Pare, ang ganda nya! Ang puti-puti!" (Dude, she's so pretty! Very fair-skinned!") I think it stems from the Filipino mentality, that fair-skinned people are more beautiful and favoured than those who aren't.

It's still very prevalent now, especially in Philippine entertainment. If you're not light-skinned, you won't be as popular and successful as those who are. Those in the Philippine industry who are morenos/morenas try to lighten their skin so they can get ahead. I've encountered people who have that opinion/belief growing up in the Philippines. I was very dark, even darker than I am now. And all I heard growing up was, "ang itim-itim mo!" ("you're so dark!") and other quips similar to, or even harsher than that. Yes, I was ridiculed for being dark-skinned (morena). I still get that here in the States, 30 years later, from fellow Filipinos, especially those who weren't born or didn't grow up here in the US. And I certainly have never been complimented by any Filipino guy for my looks, ever. They almost, always, never get past the looks. So, yeah, I don't think I'll marry a Filipino at all.

P.S. By the way, I love that I'm dark-skinned, especially since moving to North America. Seeing a lot of sun-worshippers here, especially in California, I'm glad to have naturally dark skin. :)


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Tough night.

Having a tough night. I'm feeling very sad. Thinking about our situation, mine and my mom's, and I'm thinking why we're in this situation. I see her with her aches and pains, and it just breaks my heart that I can't help her more than I am able to. I want us to really move back to Toronto, and start over. I want her to be able to just take it easy and I, in turn, will provide for her. I want to travel with her, spend more time with her. If we stay here in the US, I'm afraid it's not going to happen.

I know the Lord had a reason why He allowed us to come here. But I think it's time to go back. I'm feeling the urgency much more so now, than I did before.

I covet your prayers. Thank you.


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My weekend, thus far.

I wrote on Facebook that my plans this weekend would consist of one thing, and one thing only: SLEEP. So, I did sleep in today. Woke up some time around 11:30am. Watched some TV, then ran to AAA to pay for my insurance before the deadline. These past few weeks have been really exhausting, mostly because of work. I've not experienced stress quite like this, ever. I've worked with 2 very tough lawyers, who are both workaholics for 2 years, and I still wasn't as stressed out back then as I have been the past couple of weeks. I've been losing weight, which something I'm not complaining about, and my gray hair seemed to have multiplied exponentially over the course of two weeks. Sigh. I enjoy being around my co-workers, and I actually don't mind the job as much. But, I wish it were closer to home. I'm always very tired at the end of the day. I find myself coming home, sitting on my bed, then waking up in the middle of the night, still in my street clothes, because I'd forgotten to change. I'm beginning to wonder if this job is worth it. I'm praying for a job that's closer to home.

Still reeling at the news that I stumbled upon by accident about the object of my affection. It's a bit disheartening, and definitely heart-breaking for me. I suppose there's nothing I can do anymore. I must move on. It's hard to get over something unrequited. But, I need to get over it. I don't know if he knows how I really feel, but I have expressed to him my admiration. I suppose that was a good thing, in the end. Ahhhh... There's still an itty-bitty part of me that's hoping I'd still have a chance. But given the circumstance he's in now, I've lost my chance. Sigh. I wonder if he's ever read my blog, and if he has, I wonder if he knew that he's the one I'd been referring to as the object of my affection. I guess we'll never know now. Sighing some more.

Going to sleep now, or will attempt to. Church tomorrow. Good night.

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Growing weary.

The commute to work in the morning is starting to take a toll. I'm starting to grow weary of it. There are so many things going through my head. I wish work was a bit closer. *sigh*


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My "moment" with Brian McKnight. Yep, it happened. So hush. LOL

I remember like it was yesterday. LOL OK, OK. So, some of you may have heard from me the "moment" I had with Brian McKnight. Yes, THE Brian McKnight. This probably happened almost 2 years ago now. So, here's how it went down. I went on a spontaneous GNO (Girls' Night Out) with my friends, Vanessa and Gayle, and we decided to go to Universal Citywalk since we hadn't been there in so long and just wanted a place where we can have dinner then walk around to window-shop, etc. We had dinner at Bubba Gump's, then decided to walk around and check out a few stores. Walked into this one store that specializes in chocolate candies/desserts, all sorts of chocolate flavoured goodies (and not-so goodies, depending on your palette), you could imagine (including chocolate-covered bacon). After trying out some of what they had to offer, we decided to check out another candy store next door. As we walked out of the place, I noticed some tall dude out of the corner of my eye, but I was looking at my iPhone at the time. I stopped for a bit, because I couldn't really walk and text at the same time. LOL Then, I looked up, and noticed the tall dude was staring at me. Like, STARING. I didn't realize who it was at first, so I was thinking, "what the heck? whatchu lookin' at foo'?" at the time. hah! It slowly dawned on me WHO was staring at me..... BRIAN MCKNIGHT!!! He was facing the store we had just walked out of and had his back towards the crowd. I guess he was hoping no one would notice him. Anyway, the funny thing was, he didn't even look away right away when I was finally looking back at him! He kinda had this smirk and then finally slowly looked away. Needless to say, I had to pick up my jaw off the floor! When I finally got my wits about me, I rushed over to where Vanessa and Gayle were (who had both walked ahead of me), and I had to pull both of them aside and whispered to them that Brian McKnight was standing there a few feet away. Gayle and Vanessa both shrieked, and I had to shush them. LOL Gayle was like, "do you want to go and say hi?" I was up for it, but Vanessa got all shy, even though, we decided to go back and make sure it was him. By the time we decided to go say hi to him, a crowd of people had formed around him and started talking to him. It didn't seem like he was too happy being noticed (he was there with his gf at the time, and her family), so we just decided to leave him alone. I was too excited, I just had to tweet about it! Brian McKnight was staring at me! Yes, we had a moment. Ahhh!!!

Faugust? Fogust?

Faugust? Fogust? It's a new word that I learned from the morning news show today, describing what the weather's been like this month. It's been a bit gloomy and foggy, I have to say. And we're in the middle of the summer. We're probably going to experience summer-like weather towards the end of this year, AGAIN. Remember last December? We experienced a heatwave for, at least, a couple of weeks (or possibly more?)!

I'm getting a bit impatient lately. I cannot wait for 2012. It can't come any sooner. There are reasons as to why I am wanting it to be 2012 already, but that will be revealed at a later time. I'm excited and apprehensive all at the same time. Lots of praying, and seeking God's guidance. But, one thing's for sure: 2012, please get here faster!

I have to write a "to-do list" in relation to (and prior to the arrival of) 2012. Don't know where to start, however. But, I have been trolling the 'net for ideas and such. I will definitely need a game-plan. I just don't want to go about it all willy-nilly. There's preparation, and then there's just a leap of faith, and trusting God for what's best.

Work has been strange lately. It's been a slow couple of months, as far as sales are concerned. Not really what you want to happen in this kind of business we're in. I hope it's just a minor bump on the road for our company, and all other textile/garment companies, for that matter.

Ugh. My contacts are completely bothering me. Perhaps, I should take them off now. I need a new prescription for my eyes. I think they may have gotten worse. Oy. Mom has hi-jacked the remote. I suppose I should just call it a night then.

EGRs

Lord, please help me to be more loving towards certain people that require extra grace (a.k.a. Extra Grace Required), just as you have shown extra grace towards me. It's soooo difficult at times. :(


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