Level 42 - Almost There - Live - HD

I'll be shameless for once and say this (apologies to his gf): NATHAN KING, I LOVE YOU! OK, got it out of my system. ;)

Exhausted.

I've come to a realization that I am old. Yes, old. This job has aged me, significantly. I've only been at this job, a little over 5 months, but I feel like I've been working there for many years. I enjoy my co-workers, and working with them, of course. However, the nature of the job itself takes a toll on me. It's very demanding, and the stress-level is quite high because you have to meet deadlines and demands of customers (fabric buyers, textile companies, designers, manufacturers) and the sales-people. My particular department, Sales and Production, is constantly moving. Gotta get those orders out, one right after the other. And it's a 2-person department - me and my supervisor. It gets really busy that, some times, my supervisor doesn't take a lunch break anymore. She forces me to. Otherwise, I would skip lunch altogether as well, just to meet the demands of the customers. I'm drained physically, and mentally, every single day. My day starts off drained already, just from driving to work (it takes me an hour to drive to and from work). So, by the time I reach work, I'm already exhausted. Then, the work starts, and more stress and exhaustion. I walk back and forth, constantly, from my desk to the warehouse, then up a couple of flights of stairs to have purchase orders approved by head of Accounting. Taking calls, screening calls, forwarding calls, getting yelled at by demanding salespeople, trying not to yell back. Cutting samples, packing orders, giving inventory, scheduling trucks for shipping, the list goes on and on... It's constant. There's little to no down-time at all. If I wasn't forced to take my lunch break, I'd be pulling my hair out by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone's job is as demanding, if not even more so. I don't mind being busy, it makes the day go by so much faster. But I do mind the stress and the physical and mental exhaustion. People have mentioned to me that I've lost some weight. It's not because I was on a healthy regimen of exercise and proper eating, it's because of the stress from this job. I have clumps of grey hair, which is ridiculous, because of the stress from this job. I don't bother dressing up to work anymore because at the end of the day, I'm all grime and soot from being in the warehouse 80% of the day, making sure the warehouse people are pulling the correct rolls of fabric. I feel bad for being constantly on their cases, but if I don't do it, we won't get our orders out in time, and that's when the barrage of phone-calls and yelling start to happen. Today, they added another task for me to do, because they don't want to hire new people. They like to do a lot of reshuffling and adding. I'm feeling aches and pains. I feel way older than I really am. But despite all of these, I praise God that I have a job at all. Especially after finding myself unemployed for a month and a half. That was scary. It's like doing a trapeze act without a safety net. But, man alive! Am I exhausted! I'm going to need a vacation. Facebook, Twitter, and blogging are my distractions. It's sad, but I've no energy to do something after work. By the time I'm done with work, all I can think about is going home and vegging. As much as I'd like to go out and be with friends, my body doesn't seem to like the idea. Sigh. Pray for me. I need God's strength in my moments of weakness.

Having a weak moment...

I'm overwhelmed with sadness right now. I feel lonely. Not alone, but lonely. Lord Jesus, please remind me of my joy in You. Amen.

Got game?

Today was just a scorcher. Stayed at home for most of the day, but decided to get out of the house eventually. Headed on over to my local Barnes & Noble to see if I could find Simon Pegg's autobiography, "Nerd Do Well", unsuccessfully, I might add, so I walked to the Starbucks across the way, and got myself something cool and refreshing, well, my own version of it.

So, I sat at a table in the patio area and resumed reading "The Hobbit" on my iPhone's Kindle app. A few minutes later, I noticed someone sitting at the table across from me. This guy, kinda cute, was looking at me. Then, he smiled at me when I directly looked at him. I smiled back, just to be nice, and resumed reading. Not too long after, I looked up again, and cute guy was looking and smiling at me, again! I smiled back, but he made me a bit nervous, I'm not sure why. I tried to finish my drink and got up and left! I don't know why I did! Perhaps, I was getting nervous that he was going to come up to me and start chatting me up.... I KNOW! I tend to get nervous like that! I'm just not used to that kind of attention from the opposite sex. I noticed that I have been getting it lately. Now, that I'm in my mid-30s, it's become more frequent. If you know me, I'm not the one guys look at or notice right away. I've always been Miss Plain Jane. For many years, that's who I am. Even my own family thinks of me that way. It's not sad, it's just how it is. They never thought of me as someone guys would be attracted to. I don't blame them for thinking it though. It's just how the world revolves. So, I have insecurities when it comes to men paying attention to me. I've got no game. None whatsoever. I don't know how to play the game at all! So, when homey-dude did what he did, I didn't quite know how to handle it, so I wanted to flee.
But yeah, I've got NO GAME.

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